Women Need To Reconsider Their Position

[Pumping]

I am yet to come across a woman who has said what she really wants. Most just tell you that you should know now

Now, this is one bobo that knows women. 

[Pumping]

Windywendy: In all honesty I can't dispute anything you've said, simply because like you rightly pointed out, we can't generalize women, neither can we men. Therefore we have a stalemate.

Each situation has to be dealt with on an individual basis! But the "fact"

remains that women generally speaking are/can be coy about their needs.

I went into a shop some time ago and I stumbled on a conversation between two men. They were discussing their relationships. One man said for the length of his marriage (they had been married for quite some time), his wife still pretends like she's asleep while he "messes" with her, until she's in a total state of undress and he's deep inside ennemy territory, then she now wakes up to join in Pray tell, do you have any explanation as to why some women do this???

This is not the first time I've heard this.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is precisely what the man wants. O pari. Woman wrapper. 

Tell your friend to try this straight forward strategy. Go to bed before she does and stay awake until she comes to bed. Don't wait for any sleep at all from either side. Proceed as in bold above but without either having to wake up from any yeye sleep. Delay is dangerous!!! 

[Omoba3]

Hmmm, you raise some interesting points... However I'll have to disagree with some of them, starting with the one that says "there's bliss in any home so long as the man continues to agree with the woman". If you're saying this in the context of the fact that agreement is necessary in order for peace to reign, then yes you're absolutely right. Two cannot live together unless they're in agreement. However if agreement in this context translates to domination, then that's unhealthy, and I wouldn't necessarily agree that's what women are looking for. A typical woman would want a husband who's a good leader -- one who can take the initiative to do those things that need to be done by him. However, she'll also be looking for him to take into consideration the needs of everyone concerned (hers and the kids inclusive) in making decisions, even putting their needs before his when necessary. That way, she'll learn to relax and trust his judgement and decisions, as opposed to constantly feeling the need to "protect" herself. LOL . So if he can demonstrate selflessness in the decisions that he takes on behalf of the family, he'll gain her confidence in and respect of his leadership ability. It's the same thing that obtains in the larger society ... leaders who thrive and are very highly regarded are those who are selfless.

Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't have women who could be over-bearing and insist that things must go their way... that one's a different story, and I believe people like that are in the minority. Usually when a woman feels like she has to challenge the decisions her husband makes, it's most likely due to a lack of confidence in his decisions which is likely to be a fallout of those decisions not taking her concerns / interests / needs into consideration.

I def agree with you that God created men and women as a compliment to each other  The compliment can result in bliss if both work at it.

Oh and by the way, that statement "Men are only interested in sex, food and sports as is the "consensus" about us." is not necessarily a consensus from women. Just look at Omoba3's post above, suggesting that the woman can use sex to get the man to do whatever she wants... If you ask me, the statement is a consensus about MEN by MEN 

Windywendy: Lol! Walai! You no go kill me with laughter!

Really Wendy I can't stop laughing!  I beg who told you that the bolded text is what I think or believe, eh! Do you know where the idea came from? A Christian sister on NigerianVillageSquare was advising another and she advised women to give it up  for their husbands always, in season and out of season,  she said to forget all things tripping with sex being attached to emotions, she said do the thing jo!

On a serious note, I do agree with your lovely write up on men and women. I dey your side kampe! 

[Pumping]

Let us also observe the 2nd law (or give it any number you like).

The more desperate you are for sex, the less likely you will get any. Opari.
All that kneeling down and shedding tears for sex does not help either  Agbaya.

And madames, don't let your hubby decieve you that you are the one slacking. He can do and undo. Give him a 2 week marathon on a daily basis. By the end of the 2nd week he will give you the excuse of sleeping in the children's room so that he does not disturb you with his snoring!!!
Superman ko, Spiderman ni. Lazy man wey just dey demo. You think say na your Uni days wen you no get work.

[Omoba3]

Windywendy: In all honesty I can't dispute anything you've said, simply because like you rightly pointed out, we can't generalize women, neither can we men. Therefore we have a stalemate.

Each situation has to be dealt with on an individual basis! But the "fact"

remains that women generally speaking are/can be coy about their needs.

I went into a shop some time ago and I stumbled on a conversation between two men. They were discussing their relationships. One man said for the length of his marriage (they had been married for quite some time), his wife still pretends like she's asleep while he "messes" with her, until she's in a total state of undress and he's deep inside ennemy territory, then she now wakes up to join in Pray tell, do you have any explanation as to why some women do this???

This is not the first time I've heard this.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is precisely what the man wants. O pari. Woman wrapper. 

Tell your friend to try this straight forward strategy. Go to bed before she does and stay awake until she comes to bed. Don't wait for any sleep at all from either side. Show some seriousness. Delay is dangerous!!! 

Pumping: Becareful yourself o!  This is a ferry serious disconcussion going on here, Pls don't bring dat kin talk here  Nice idea though!

[Pumping]

My reply is very serious o. Forget all those smileys. Na so I dey pass across my own jist.

Your friend has been doing something for so long and I am telling you it is his own idea of romance.

He cannot tell me he has something against it and continues doing it only to complain!!!

If he does not like it, he can change it. Abi, why must he always wake madame up from sleep??

See, no smiley this time. Do I sound serious???

[Omoba3]

Let us also observe the 2nd law (or give it any number you like).

The more desperate you are for sex, the less likely you will get any. Opari.
All that kneeling down and shedding tears for sex does not help either  Agbaya.

And madames, don't let your hubby decieve you that you are the one slacking. He can do and undo. Give him a 2 week marathon on a daily basis. By the end of the 2nd week he will give you the excuse of sleeping in the children's room so that he does not disturb you with his snoring!!!
Superman ko, Spiderman ni. Lazy man wey just dey demo.

Pumping: You don dey refeal your secrets abi 

Women have had a lifetime of learning to refuse a man's advances! If they "feel" the urge, all they need do is squeeze their legs close together real tight! With men, that's anoda palava! When we feel the need, the need sticks right out in front of us, like a sore thumb  We can't hide our attraction, but women sure can and this gives them an undue advantage over men!

What most women do not realise with the constant refusals, is that they unwittingly affect their man's performance in bed! Consider this: A man that has being refused sex consistently for weeks or months will surely be a 10 sec man, why, built up tension and anticipation! However, a man that is "fed" regularly when he is hungry, will no longer spill his wata that easily! He will be used to being attracted to his woman without wanting every encounter to result in sex. This man is the kind that will wear his woman out, big time!

So this is the reason why women should consider their positions, afterall, if your man is no good in bed, why would you be eager to have sex with him? But if you now realise that you contribute to his bedroom performance, you should do something about it, abi! Na you go enjoy ya sef if your man be king kong inside bedroom, na.

[Omoba3]

My reply is very serious o. Forget all those smileys. Na so I dey pass across my own jist.

Your friend has been doing something for so long and I am telling you it is his own idea of romance.

He cannot tell me he has something against it and continues doing it only to complain!!!

If he does not like it, he can change it. Abi, why must he always wake madame up from sleep??

See, no smiley this time. Do I sound serious???

Ok I hear you se you dey serious, but the person in question was someone in a shop having the discussion with the shop owner, whose wife does the sleeping sex act. 

[ngegy]

these bears gan sef, my people don dey spread around. let see how romantic our gurus are before the bulls come back.

[windywendy]

Let us also observe the 2nd law (or give it any number you like).

The more desperate you are for sex, the less likely you will get any. Opari.
All that kneeling down and shedding tears for sex does not help either  Agbaya.

And madames, don't let your hubby decieve you that you are the one slacking. He can do and undo. Give him a 2 week marathon on a daily basis. By the end of the 2nd week he will give you the excuse of sleeping in the children's room so that he does not disturb you with his snoring!!!
Superman ko, Spiderman ni. Lazy man wey just dey demo. You think say na your Uni days wen you no get work.

  True talk jo!

[windywendy]

Pumping: You don dey refeal your secrets abi 

Women have had a lifetime of learning to refuse a man's advances! If they "feel" the urge, all they need do is squeeze their legs close together real tight! With men, that's anoda palava! When we feel the need, the need sticks right out in front of us, like a sore thumb  We can't hide our attraction, but women sure can and this gives them an undue advantage over men!

What most women do not realise with the constant refusals, is that they unwittingly affect their man's performance in bed! Consider this: A man that has being refused sex consistently for weeks or months will surely be a 10 sec man, why, built up tension and anticipation! However, a man that is "fed" regularly when he is hungry, will no longer spill his wata that easily! He will be used to being attracted to his woman without wanting every encounter to result in sex. This man is the kind that will wear his woman out, big time!

So this is the reason why women should consider their positions, afterall, if your man is no good in bed, why would you be eager to have sex with him? But if you now realise that you contribute to his bedroom performance, you should do something about it, abi! Na you go enjoy ya sef if your man be king kong inside bedroom, na.

Chei, see as you take manipulate this thing sha... first, give him sex so that he'll do what you want... second give him sex so that he'll be a beta performer... LOL!!! OMG!

It don't work that way o! As for that woman for village square that thinks sex is the solution to all the problems under the sun, she's seriously on her own ke! When a woman suddenly starts refusing the hubby sex, there is usually an underlying problem. The best bet is to find out what it is and resolve it once and for all, as opposed to finding more creative ways of getting her into giving him some action. For most women, that physical connection is very difficult to make happen if the emotional connection isn't there. In situations where the man is too busy chasing other things (work, hobbies, etc) to establish the emotional connection she needs, distance happens and sex becomes nothing but an unpleasant headache... so the next time  he hears her say "honey, not tonight I have a headache", she probably means it, and is not just forming or being manipulative...

[Omoba3]

Pumping: You don dey refeal your secrets abi 

Women have had a lifetime of learning to refuse a man's advances! If they "feel" the urge, all they need do is squeeze their legs close together real tight! With men, that's anoda palava! When we feel the need, the need sticks right out in front of us, like a sore thumb  We can't hide our attraction, but women sure can and this gives them an undue advantage over men!

What most women do not realise with the constant refusals, is that they unwittingly affect their man's performance in bed! Consider this: A man that has being refused sex consistently for weeks or months will surely be a 10 sec man, why, built up tension and anticipation! However, a man that is "fed" regularly when he is hungry, will no longer spill his wata that easily! He will be used to being attracted to his woman without wanting every encounter to result in sex. This man is the kind that will wear his woman out, big time!

So this is the reason why women should consider their positions, afterall, if your man is no good in bed, why would you be eager to have sex with him? But if you now realise that you contribute to his bedroom performance, you should do something about it, abi! Na you go enjoy ya sef if your man be king kong inside bedroom, na.

Chei, see as you take manipulate this thing sha... first, give him sex so that he'll do what you want... second give him sex so that he'll be a beta performer... LOL!!! OMG!

It don't work that way o! As for that woman for village square that thinks sex is the solution to all the problems under the sun, she's seriously on her own ke! When a woman suddenly starts refusing the hubby sex, there is usually an underlying problem. The best bet is to find out what it is and resolve it once and for all, as opposed to finding more creative ways of getting her into giving him some action. For most women, that physical connection is very difficult to make happen if the emotional connection isn't there. In situations where the man is too busy chasing other things (work, hobbies, etc) to establish the emotional connection she needs, distance happens and sex becomes nothing but an unpleasant headache... so the next time  he hears her say "honey, not tonight I have a headache", she probably means it, and is not just forming or being manipulative...

I still agree with you. We have to deal with each situation according to its merits.

[frankiriri]

LOL! Sure you've been meeting the right ones?? 'cos a lot that I know talk about what they really want. The problem begins when she starts to experience resistance from him because what she wants doesn't gel with what he thinks she should want -- very common, just visit that infamous "proposal" thread on nairaland and eyeball the striking similarities in a cross section of the responses from the guys ... Depending on the personality, she may either just move on (which is what I would do) or simply begin to sound off what she thinks he wants to hear...  . Trust me, she knows what she wants...

I am telling you I have been looking in the right places and they definitely don't say what they want. maybe the species of females we have in Naija are different from the specie of females abroad.  . Personally I try not to assume that I  know what she wants, If she wants something I can't give and I consider it a amjor issue, I would rather waka than assume or make her change her mind.

[frankiriri]

sure she hasn't become tired from having to repeat that over time and time again? 

Or the man could be tired of being made to ask each time.

[frankiriri]

Windywendy: In all honesty I can't dispute anything you've said, simply because like you rightly pointed out, we can't generalize women, neither can we men. Therefore we have a stalemate.

Each situation has to be dealt with on an individual basis! But the "fact" remains that women generally speaking are/can be coy about their needs.

I went into a shop some time ago and I stumbled on a conversation between two men. They were discussing their relationships. One man said for the length of his marriage (they had been married for quite some time), his wife still pretends like she's asleep while he "messes" with her, until she's in a total state of undress and he's deep inside ennemy territory, then she now wakes up to join in Pray tell, do you have any explanation as to why some women do this???

This is not the first time I've heard this.

[frankiriri]

You people are still on this topic?

You refuse to agree with something that works abi?

Ok, let me put it this way.

WW, you have spoken (written) well but no vex, women like to be correct o. Just agree. You can do what you like later.

Many things that women want men to agree on are not always critical things, so don't be scared. You can agree.

Some examples jo.
Madam:You cannot turn the home into a stadium every Sunday because of Man U.
You:Agree and go watch the game with your friends with the added advantage of some beer and boyz talk 

Madam:You spend too much time on PS3 instead of with me and the kids.
You:Agree. Spend more time with madam and the kids and play your "Grand Theft Auto IV" in the middle of the night 

Madam:You don't help with the house work.
You:Agree and do serious envrionmental sanitation every Saturday.

Madam: You dont' take the kids to the park.
You: Agree. Take them to the park while playing softball with your friends on the side.

Now, when it comes to anything that is very important, DISAGREE right from the start, frown your face and refuse to discuss it Next, throw in the line of all the things listed above that you have always agreed with. So why can't she also agree sometimes like in this case??? 
(_{runs to hide before women lib descends})

Moral of the story. Always agree when you don't have to DISAGREE.

In other words Its ok to lose a few battles as long as you win the war

[frankiriri]

Hama:

.....Omoba,  agree yeah there's a stalemate but I've got a problem here: The title. You see? Why is it the women that need to reconsider their position? And the men.... The boss is always right, right? Great! One of my colleagues (a guy) refers to his wife as the boss and he chuckles about enjoying his relationship bigtime methinks some pple can take a leaf  2thumbsup @pumping - excellent formula, you should share it with more guys

My reason for saying women should reconsider their position, is the fact that women weld a lot of power in the home, and if anyone can make a home blissful, bearing in mind that some men can be egotistical, overbearing and choose to "claim" to be superior, a woman with her head screwed on right can use her wisdom and understanding to gradually change a man. The fact that you love him in the first place counts a lot.

It means you have a good reason for being patient, tolerant and understanding. If a man (in the right frame of mind), knows that he is loved, and appreciates the love he is being shown, coupled with the fact that he knows he has a good woman by his side, he will learn to trust her counsel. And in trusting her counsel, she is able to win him over.

NB. The above only applies to some women! 

As per the agreement issue. Pumping has helped put things into proper context 

[frankiriri]

On a serious note, I do agree with your lovely write up on men and women. I dey your side kampe! 

Traitor .  . 

[Omoba3]

On a serious note, I do agree with your lovely write up on men and women. I dey your side kampe! 

Traitor .  . 

Frank, but she presented a balanced arguement so how for do now 

[windywendy]

You people are still on this topic?

You refuse to agree with something that works abi?

Ok, let me put it this way.

WW, you have spoken (written) well but no vex, women like to be correct o. Just agree. You can do what you like later.

Many things that women want men to agree on are not always critical things, so don't be scared. You can agree.

Some examples jo.
Madam:You cannot turn the home into a stadium every Sunday because of Man U.
You:Agree and go watch the game with your friends with the added advantage of some beer and boyz talk 

Madam:You spend too much time on PS3 instead of with me and the kids.
You:Agree. Spend more time with madam and the kids and play your "Grand Theft Auto IV" in the middle of the night 

Madam:You don't help with the house work.
You:Agree and do serious envrionmental sanitation every Saturday.

Madam: You dont' take the kids to the park.
You: Agree. Take them to the park while playing softball with your friends on the side.

Now, when it comes to anything that is very important, DISAGREE right from the start, frown your face and refuse to discuss it Next, throw in the line of all the things listed above that you have always agreed with. So why can't she also agree sometimes like in this case??? 
(_{runs to hide before women lib descends})

Moral of the story. Always agree when you don't have to DISAGREE.

Chei, see wayo!! So this is the strategy the husbands have been adopting abi? ahhh, ok wait, make I go collect my notes and gather all other wives I know, make we begin take note of these revelations... the strategy is about to stop working ke... Chei, some husbands will be cursing you in their sleep for exposing their strategies in public 

[frankiriri]

On a serious note, I do agree with your lovely write up on men and women. I dey your side kampe! 

Traitor .  . 

Frank, but she presented a balanced arguement so how for do now 

[frankiriri]

You people are still on this topic?

You refuse to agree with something that works abi?

Ok, let me put it this way.

WW, you have spoken (written) well but no vex, women like to be correct o. Just agree. You can do what you like later.

Many things that women want men to agree on are not always critical things, so don't be scared. You can agree.

Some examples jo.
Madam:You cannot turn the home into a stadium every Sunday because of Man U.
You:Agree and go watch the game with your friends with the added advantage of some beer and boyz talk 

Madam:You spend too much time on PS3 instead of with me and the kids.
You:Agree. Spend more time with madam and the kids and play your "Grand Theft Auto IV" in the middle of the night 

Madam:You don't help with the house work.
You:Agree and do serious envrionmental sanitation every Saturday.

Madam: You dont' take the kids to the park.
You: Agree. Take them to the park while playing softball with your friends on the side.

Now, when it comes to anything that is very important, DISAGREE right from the start, frown your face and refuse to discuss it Next, throw in the line of all the things listed above that you have always agreed with. So why can't she also agree sometimes like in this case??? 
(_{runs to hide before women lib descends})

Moral of the story. Always agree when you don't have to DISAGREE.

Chei, see wayo!! So this is the strategy the husbands have been adopting abi? ahhh, ok wait, make I go collect my notes and gather all other wives I know, make we begin take note of these revelations... the strategy is about to stop working ke... Chei, some husbands will be cursing you in their sleep for exposing their strategies in public 

[dollyp1cute]

 

@Frankiri, o ga o, the thing is really close to your heart shey.

[frankiriri]

@Frankiri, o ga o, the thing is really close to your heart shey.

Meanwhile, the name is frank or frankiriri. Na so una bastardise my name for Nairaland . Una wan start am here 

[windywendy]

@Frankiri, o ga o, the thing is really close to your heart shey.

Meanwhile, the name is frank or frankiriri. Na so una bastardise my name for Nairaland . Una wan start am here 

LOL idea is needed na... as long as you know that you're the one being referred to, wetin be the problem again