This thread is a spill over from the thread on "Dating Married People". The discussions has now gone into the arena of Christians and what the bible says about divorce.
As a Christian, I believe that there are grounds for divorce, if the two people involved in the relationship cannot reconcile their differences. There is no point for two people to remain together, especially if they find that they bring out the worst in each other. When one partner has been wronged in a relationship, it really does take love to overcome the hurt and pain. Having said that, time is the greatest healer, but this is largely dependent on the demeanour of both parties involved and to some measure, the desire to want the relationship to work.
Regardless of whatever the bible states, people will still go ahead and do what they want to do, and still find ways to justify their stand. We all behave and react to issues and situations based on our personality type.
There are Christians who believe that nothing warrants divorce! Not even physical abuse. This same belief goes to the point of death! Some believe that if you should die in your marriage owing to spousal abuse, you would have died for God's sake and will be rewarded in heaven.
The quotes that follow are agruments that show why divorce is frowned upon by God: Are you bold enough to share your convictions, please share and enlighten us
These are the words/beliefs of a bishop:
Divorce and remarriage among 'believers' is two for a penny in the west, and I understand from the above, the feminist badwagon is getting to the church in Nigeria too!
Quote:
1 Peter 3:1
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
8Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
9Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
10For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
11Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
13And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?
14But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
15But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
16Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
17For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
Instead the feminists...
1. hate that word "submission", they bicker, argue and nag until they have their way.
2. Their beauty is almost always external of the broiding of hair and of gold and ornaments
3. Put their men in subjection through manipulation and the court system
4. Abuse the men and call them abusers
5. Refuse the christian men sex to have their way [because a true christian is not supposed to commit adultery regardless of the temptation and the deprivation...and the money pastors are not preaching to stop this evil]
6. If a man is sex-deprived, and is trying to live holy, he is a strung wire waiting to snap.
6. Want Abraham's blessings but act not like Sarah but like Jezebels.
More from the Bishop
Regarding Marriage and reasons to divorce…there is no reason for divorce. Jesus could have come down from the cross…he did not have to suffer abuse…he suffered it…Paul was abused and killed, so was Peter, James …John was abused in jail… they all did not quit because they loved not their lives unto death…Paul’s jailor was saved because he bore abuse…so was Smith Wigglesworth (I think) because his wifey bore her cross. The modern Christian knows nothing of the cross.
Too many persons are looking for an excuse to try the grass which looks greener on the other side.
In marriage, we have God’s prescription, which according to the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ, if you cannot follow His rules, do not enter into marriage. If you cannot follow the rules and be faithful for life, do not marry. I shall let the following scriptures do the talking. If you are a true Christian and your nice groom/bride turns out to be a goon/witch and kills you by abuse, you are quickly dispatched to be with the Lord. Problem is the “Happiness People” who have no real knowledge of what Christ was about, would rather be happy than be martyrs for Jesus (if need be) to save even the man/woman they vowed to love and cherish till death do us part.
Matthew 19:9-12
8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
My note: Fornication is a sin that defiles the marriage, like all sins, we are supposed to forgive 70 x 7 in a day, that includes sins even in marriage, we are required to forgive. God is willing to forgive His bride even for adultery…and go back to her, hear his proclamation to his bride hereunder –
This is a quote from someone who believes God does not permit divorce
.......Paul's letters to the Christians of Corinth reflect challenges facing the early church. The Corinthians faced different issues in their early Christian journey, as evidenced by Paul’s instructions to them. Other key issues were leadership and authority, ritual and practice, lifestyles and relationships.
The particular problems addressed in the chapter under consideration included marriage between newly-converted Christians and their yet to be converted spouses, divorce, celibacy and prostitution. As a matter of fact, the Corinthians had a temple dedicated to Aphrodite, with prostitute princesses serving there.
From verse 1 of the chapter therefore, Paul affirms that there was so much immorality and encouraged each man to have his own wife and each woman her own husband (v2) in order to prevent this.
In the entire chapter, Paul clearly distinguishes between his own opinion and the Lord’s command (v10 – the Lord’s, v12 his own opinion). He even went further to state in verse 6 that he was not commanding but recommending on a particular issue. Paul obviously knew that several generations later, some disingenuous people will seek to justify their actions based on an erroneous interpretation of the same scriptures.
Ephesians 5:22 – 33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Timothy 3:2,12; 5:14 all attest to Paul’s strong opinion in favour of the marriage institution.
In verse 10 of the 7th chapter of Corinthians, Paul cites explicit instructions from our Lord Jesus Christ that married couples must never divorce:
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
This command by Jesus can be found in Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18. All these scriptures are different accounts of the same encounter Jesus had with Pharisees on the subject of what is widely regarded as ‘no-fault’ divorce.
Let us examine the account in Matthew which a lot of people rely upon to justify divorce.
Matthew 19 (Amplified Bible)
Matthew 19
3And Pharisees came to Him and put Him to the test by asking, Is it lawful and right to dismiss and repudiate and divorce one's wife for any and [a]every cause?
4He replied, Have you never read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).
7They said to Him, Why then did Moses command [us] to give a certificate of divorce and thus to dismiss and repudiate a wife?
8He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained].
9I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, [c]and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
In Mark’s account of the same encounter in chapter 10 of the book of Mark, Jesus threw the question right back at the Pharisees:
What did Moses command you? (Mark 10:3)
The Pharisees responded: Moses allowed a man to write a bill of divorce and to put her away! (v4)
This instruction can be found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4
Deuteronomy 24
1WHEN A man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,
2And when she departs out of his house she goes and marries another man,
3And if the latter husband dislikes her and writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies, who took her as his wife,
4Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.
The Pharisees were desirous of drawing something from Jesus which they might represent as contrary to the law of Moses. Cases about marriage have been numerous, and sometimes perplexed; made so, not by the law of God, but by the lusts and follies of men.
Christ was therefore asked a specific question about ‘no-fault’ divorce by the Pharisees: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” (v3).
His answer was emphatic “What ...God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (v6).
He went further to state that the provision in the Law of Moses permitting a man simply to write a certificate to divorce his wife was allowed only because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Christ rejected this by appealing directly to Genesis: “But it was not this way from the beginning”.
Please note that neither Mark nor Luke’s account contain the ‘escape clause’ Matthew referred to in verse 9 (divorce on the grounds of infidelity), as quoted above. Even then, Christ went on to say that
“whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (v9)
It is also instructive to note that Matthew’s account comes right after Christ’s teaching on forgiveness, which is fundamental to any healthy relationship.
In Jewish ancient practice, divorce was effected by the husband himself and not by a judicial authority or court, as evidenced in Deut. 24:1. Jesus emphasised in His response to the Pharisees that a simple declaration of divorce on the part of the husband could not release him from the divine law of marriage and its obligations.
Let us however return to Paul in the 7th Chapter of 1 Corinthians:
12To the rest I declare--I, not the Lord [for Jesus did not discuss this]--that if any brother has a wife who does not believe [in Christ] and she consents to live with him, he should not leave or divorce her.
13And if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she should not leave or divorce him.
14For the unbelieving husband is set apart (separated, withdrawn from heathen contamination, and affiliated with the Christian people) by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean (unblessed heathen, [a]outside the Christian covenant), but as it is they are prepared for God [pure and clean].
15But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace.
Verses 12 – 14 are self explanatory. Paul makes it clear what he says are his own opinions and not the Lords’. Verse 15 however seemingly authorises a spouse to allow a spouse to leave. Really? Let us examine the text:
15But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace.
Well, according to this text, the spouse would have to
be an original unbeliever
leave on his/her own volition.
Nothing is stated about "financial, psychological, and even spiritual abuse". Bad and reprehensible as those may be, those conditions are totally unknown to these scriptural texts.
Or is villager Oluwato encouraging believers to become unbelievers because they want to opt out of a marriage?
It is a wrong understanding of God’s word to believe that it’s simply one’s inalienable right to divorce a spouse. Even though human laws may permit it, God strictly forbids it. Anyone who therefore follows human customs and laws regarding marriage should stand in awe of God.
The Lord says through prophet Malachi “I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].” (Malachi 2:16, Amp)
This text makes clear that God hates divorce. He also hates violence in marriage. The Lord did not however say that one can be carried out because of the other. Paul also comes to the same conclusion in verse 39 of Corinthians 7 – “A wife is bound to her husband by law as long as he lives”
When people go into a marriage covenant thinking “Oh well, if it doesn’t work out, I can always opt out”, they will never make the commitment and presence of mind required to make marriages work.
If however they truly believe in the sanctity of their marital vows of ‘for better for worse’ and they earnestly pray to God to give them the grace to be able to overcome self and ego in their life journey, the Lord will give them the grace to forgive spouses when things do go wrong or when a spouse commits adultery or any other hurt against the other spouse.
When the gospel of Christ is really embraced, it makes men kind relatives and faithful friends; it teaches us to bear the burdens, and to bear with the infirmities of those with whom we are connected, to consider their peace and happiness more than our own.
That, is the original purpose of Corinthians 7. And there’s nothing demonic about it.
