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Omoge
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« on: May 05, 2008, 09:18:18 PM » |
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before Asking The bride to marry him?
Bring dem out......All the marriage counsellor....
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"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."~Proverbs 31:30
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Nigerian Forum
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« on: May 05, 2008, 09:18:18 PM » |
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windywendy
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« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2008, 11:33:35 PM » |
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before nko? he wan thief the bride? 
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... learned it all from God-of-the-Angel-Armies, who knows everything about when and how and where... (Is.28:29 MSG)
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Nubian
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« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2008, 02:06:14 AM » |
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it is customary for the man to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage.Its shows a sign of respect period!
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frankiriri
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« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2008, 08:40:58 AM » |
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What if the father refuses to give his blessing on flimsy grounds, like he does not like the guy's tribe.
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frankiriri
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« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2008, 08:43:58 AM » |
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My own Dad has said he won't be at my wedding becos the girl is Ishan.  I send am  .
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dollyp1cute
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« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2008, 01:49:39 PM » |
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Ideally they should take all avenues to get the Blessing o.
I heard of a couple who waited for 7 years
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Maranatha
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frankiriri
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« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2008, 07:33:53 PM » |
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I heard of a couple who waited for 7 years
Was the woman /man not sure of what he or she wanted. I no go wait that long. If him Papa no gree we either go ahead if she is still willing or we break up. 7 years ke. Person pikin for don dey Pry 2 by then na
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Omoba3
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« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2008, 10:07:44 PM » |
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it is customary for the man to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage.Its shows a sign of respect period! Agreed!, but not if you have similar situations to Frank's below; What if the father refuses to give his blessing on flimsy grounds, like he does not like the guy's tribe. Na dem sabi o and like you said below in bold (I send dem); My own Dad has said he won't be at my wedding becos the girl is Ishan. I send am  . Ideally they should take all avenues to get the Blessing o.
I heard of a couple who waited for 7 years I will try to get the blessing of all concerned, but it it fails, I will go ahead as planned, unless woman say im no do, and if e talk dat one, na im be say e no wan marry, abi! God forbid bad ting, wait for seven what?
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frankiriri
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« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2008, 08:34:19 AM » |
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I heard of a couple who waited for 7 years
I will try to get the blessing of all concerned, but it it fails, I will go ahead as planned, unless woman say im no do, and if e talk dat one, na im be say e no wan marry, abi! God forbid bad ting, wait for seven what? [/quote] 
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yodiyokun
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« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2008, 03:26:08 PM » |
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I no dey play with that kain thing.
My parents blessing was very very very important to me. I know my father doesnt like some tribes ( he has been saying it since we reached puberty) - I didnt go near them with a ten foot pole, maybe dated never considered them for marriage.
I get strong head, however I know my father get one kind aura , if he is against something especially a boyfriend or something. I always dey back off - I trust his judgement in such things.
I have seen his judgement play out in other peoples lives - and it was as if he saw vision - no jokes.
So when I sense, he doesnt like someone I bring home as a friend - I back off.
My siblings have followed the same principle. He absolutely adores the people we ended up marrying including their parents.
I must not tell my father, I have issues with my MIL . He will literally kill me, he thinks she walks on water - WTF is that?
This is my own experience. I have seen others explictly go against their parents wishes - families are different, to extent of marrying on their own.
I couldnt have done that, I just couldnt. I dont judge others that do as I wasnt in their circumstance.
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"Excuses are tools for the incompetent, used to build bridges that lead to nowhere and those who use them become monuments of nothingness and therefore everytime you make an excuse, you are demonstrating you are not teachable"! - Creflo Dollar
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frankiriri
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« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2008, 05:54:10 PM » |
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I couldnt have done that, I just couldnt. I dont judge others that do as I wasnt in their circumstance.
One man's meat is another man's kponmo
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Omoba3
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« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2008, 06:00:19 PM » |
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I no dey play with that kain thing.
My parents blessing was very very very important to me. I know my father doesnt like some tribes ( he has been saying it since we reached puberty) - I didnt go near them with a ten foot pole, maybe dated never considered them for marriage.
I get strong head, however I know my father get one kind aura , if he is against something especially a boyfriend or something. I always dey back off - I trust his judgement in such things.
I have seen his judgement play out in other peoples lives - and it was as if he saw vision - no jokes.
So when I sense, he doesnt like someone I bring home as a friend - I back off.
My siblings have followed the same principle. He absolutely adores the people we ended up marrying including their parents.
I must not tell my father, I have issues with my MIL . He will literally kill me, he thinks she walks on water - WTF is that?
This is my own experience. I have seen others explictly go against their parents wishes - families are different, to extent of marrying on their own.
I couldnt have done that, I just couldnt. I dont judge others that do as I wasnt in their circumstance. Yodi: You come across as a spiritual person. That being so, you have to listen to your spirit at all times, which sometimes means going against the grain. Based on what you have written about your dad, who also comes across as someone spiritual, I would gladly follow in his lead, no questions asked.
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yodiyokun
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« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2008, 06:02:30 PM » |
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I couldnt have done that, I just couldnt. I dont judge others that do as I wasnt in their circumstance.
One man's meat is another man's kponmo Thats the koko of the matter. But I can still remember my father throwing me out of the house in my teens when I said I was no longer going to Anglican but to Winners. We fought for 3 years - we declared war on each other  No one won. Most of my friends thot I was crazy to go to that extreme. I had my arguement - at least I wasnt asking to go to disco abi ke!. I pick my battles ooo,  the ones I know I can win or at least come out a bit victorious. In my own opinion, the marriage battle wasnt just worth it. But that's my own Cocacola!.
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"Excuses are tools for the incompetent, used to build bridges that lead to nowhere and those who use them become monuments of nothingness and therefore everytime you make an excuse, you are demonstrating you are not teachable"! - Creflo Dollar
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yodiyokun
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« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2008, 06:14:20 PM » |
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Yodi: You come across as a spiritual person. That being so, you have to listen to your spirit at all times, which sometimes means going against the grain.
Based on what you have written about your dad, who also comes across as someone spiritual, I would gladly follow in his lead, no questions asked.
I Hope so !! but I would say wise.
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"Excuses are tools for the incompetent, used to build bridges that lead to nowhere and those who use them become monuments of nothingness and therefore everytime you make an excuse, you are demonstrating you are not teachable"! - Creflo Dollar
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frankiriri
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« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2008, 06:19:51 PM » |
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I couldnt have done that, I just couldnt. I dont judge others that do as I wasnt in their circumstance.
One man's meat is another man's kponmo Thats the koko of the matter. But I can still remember my father throwing me out of the house in my teens when I said I was no longer going to Anglican but to Winners. We fought for 3 years - we declared war on each other  No one won. Most of my friends thot I was crazy to go to that extreme. I had my arguement - at least I wasnt asking to go to disco abi ke!. I pick my battles ooo,  the ones I know I can win or at least come out a bit victorious. In my own opinion, the marriage battle wasnt just worth it. But that's my own Cocacola!.Abi. Everyone decides the deal breaker for them. For me what may be a deal breaker could be trivial for you. But one thing I know for sure is that when an otherwise obedient child digs his/her foot in about a particular issue any sane father/mother would have a rethink.
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Omoba3
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« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2008, 06:55:23 PM » |
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Abi. Everyone decides the deal breaker for them. For me what may be a deal breaker could be trivial for you. But one thing I know for sure is that when an otherwise obedient child digs his/her foot in about a particular issue any sane father/mother would have a rethink. Quite true! A good parent should have a rethink when their usually obedient/respectful child disagrees on an issue they consider important to them.
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netotse
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« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2008, 12:08:32 AM » |
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i think u shld ask the man(even if the girl agreed eons ago...)its just the way things should be done!...on the oda issues as per wot would happen if he says no meennn i dont have an answer for that one o!(thankfully am a cple of years away from that one sha!)
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